Wednesday, December 7, 2011


My early life began in an apartment..actually I think it was a duplex..on Garfield Ave South in Minneapolis, Mn.
My Mother had told me my bedroom was the hallway! Now that I am an adult and have experienced a lot of adjustments in my life, I can fully understand why I was given the hallway. As a child, I felt that my older sister was the favored one, because, after all, I was deemed to the ignorant when we don't have perspective!! In reality, that was the Castle in my life at that time....

                   APARTMENTS : No true ownership and waiting for a better opportunity. I have had many apartments since, moving from one location to another, always looking for something better or prettier, the wishlist goes on and on.

                 OUR FIRST HOME: 45th and Unity N, Robbinsdale, Mn. A 1008 sq ft rambler with a LONG hall dividing it down the middle. 
                 POOR FLOOR PLAN
                 LACK OF FORESIGHT  the hall took up valuable square footage (I just redesigned that exact floor plan with some design foresight and reconfigured the door openings into the bedrooms and acquired another bath because of that).

                     I relate that house to marriages that are:

                  Like a MARRIAGE OF DESPERATION-
                  one that seized the opportunity, before counting the cost.
                  one that didn't take stock of any potential problems
                  and when, after the wedding, reality sets in, eyes were opened,
                                     AND disappointments set in.

                 THREE APPROACHES to a marriage like that:
                                1. SETTLE IN and just hope for the best
                                2. WAIT AND SEE if things get better and
                                     if not, divorce, and hopefully,
                                     someone else will come along...
                                3. STAY COMMITTED, RESTRUCTURE (remodel, adapt)
                                     your hopes and aspirations, LETTING GO of your  EXPECTATIONS
                                     for perfection and SEEING the reality that NO ONE IS PERFECT..
                                     and LET GO and LET GOD change you as He changes the other 
                                     person, most likely, behind the scenes, as we are growing and developing 
                                     character in the process.
The process can be very painful (just like tearing out the walls of a poorly placed hallway) but the RESULTS can be very worthwhile and meaningful. 

With COMMITMENT two can grow and work out the marriage issues, becoming rooted and wanting the VERY BEST for the other person. You  may need to stretch yourself, and even adjust your wants and desires, but AS LONG AS THE FOUNDATION IS GOOD AND RIGHT, the rest always falls in line. 
For some, it may take years, but if, during the process you quit allowing yourself to grumble and complain (remember the Israelites went through the wilderness for 40 years when it should have taken only days-but they needed the Lord's blessings for that to happen-). 
While you KEEP LOOKING UP, looking for direction and strength, 
 You will find new opportunities, new interests, and most of all, new desires both for you and your spouse and your God. Your home, your marriage, can, in fact, become the Castle in your life that God intends it to be! 

PS...we were at the Unity Ave house for about 3 years, when an opportunity came up for us to have that home in the country(one of my husband's heart's desire which he shared with me when we were dating). That's the Rogers house which is the one I referred to as being the disaster house! I bet you can hardly wait!!!


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